Top 6 Apocalypses On Xbox One
Here’s a sobering thought for you all: the Doomsday Clock currently sits at 3 minutes to midnight, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be turning back time in the near future. If it’s not the tension regarding Syria, nuclear weapons testing in North Korea or unchecked climate change that’ll do us in, it’ll be the frigging killer clowns. Seriously, what the hell world?!
But, if the world is going to end, what form will it take? Will humanity live on post-reckoning? How will we get our jollies in an apocalyptic wasteland? Here are 6 games on Xbox One that show us how we might all perish.
Walking Dead – Zombie Apocalypse
Fairly standard one, this. The dead now walk among and desire human flesh. Naturally, half of the surviving population see this as an opportunity to dig out the old Mad Max leathers and start being real big jerks to one another. Danger lurks around every corner and though you might survive the walkers, one bad exchange with your fellow human could lead to your untimely demise.
Fallout 4 – Nuclear Armageddon
Not one to be outdone in the “Apocalyptic Showmanship” department, humanity is practically a few buttons presses away from extinction at any time. Before you know it, we’re running for the Vaults and hiding from the Deathclaws. Fallout has shown that Humanity can live through a nuclear holocaust, but given the nasties we’d be sharing our ruined Earth with, you’ll probably wish we didn’t. On the bright side, at least you get a trusty canine sidekick for your troubles.
Saints Row IV – Alien Annihilation
A pop culture celebrity inexplicably ascends to the role of President, only for aliens to invade and blow up the planet. If Trump gets elected, we’re already halfway towards the plot of Saints Row IV, and if that’s not a bad omen for the planet, I don’t know what is. At least Saints Row IV had the good decency to depict the legendary Keith David as Vice President.
Plague Inc: Evolved – Death By Disease
Probably the most likely scenario on this list, diseases are nothing more than a couple of mutations away from considering humanity to be a thing of the past. Being able to watch and influence how your disease infects the entire planet by altering its symptoms and resistances makes Plague Inc: Evolved one of the more intriguing and engrossing experiences on Xbox One. That statement is especially true once you name your disease “Brock Lesnar”. Hilarity ensues.
Warhammer: The End Times – Vermintide – Wrath Of The Chaos Gods
Sometimes you just find yourself at the mercy of gods who grow weary of things. Just ask Warhammer’s Chaos Gods, who decide to instigate the End Times in an attempt to reclaim what they believe to be rightfully theirs: the whole world. Quite why they decided for The End Times to take the form of a tide of vermin, a veritable Vermintide if you will, is clearly beyond the comprehension of mortal men, but it gives you the sweet opportunity to up your kill count before the very end.
Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare – Death By The Happening
It’s never really explained why humanity is almost completely missing from the world of Plants vs Zombies, with the notable exception of Crazy Dave. It’s my working theory that the PvZ universe is a continuation of the critically lambasted M. Night Shyamalan film The Happening. Basically, the plants turned all the humans into zombies. The zombies OBVIOUSLY resent the plants for this and as such wage eternal war upon the newly evolved plant life. The only reason Crazy Dave is unaffected is because the pan on his head blocks the plant chemicals… somehow. The plants now revere him as their new god and that leads us to Garden Warfare. There; a totally legit theory that I didn’t make up in 10 seconds.
And there we are! A world-ending Bates list that didn’t even mention any fighting games! If that’s not a sign that the end is nigh, I don’t know what is! What other apocalypses can you think of on Xbox One? Let us know in the comments below!
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